Finding an Older Man

The Finding a Man saga continues…

Millie, Grandma, and I drove into a familiar bank parking lot nearing the end of the day. While my mom briefly exited the car to run an errand, Millie capitalized on the opportunity to privately discuss Grandma’s man situation with me. No sooner did the car door latch shut, I heard, “Who is Grandma in love with?”

“Well…she loves you”

“No, I mean who is she IN love with?”

“Grandma is not in love with someone.”

“You mean she doesn’t have a man?”

The car door reopened and unsuspecting Grandma hopped back in. “Get ready, Millie has brought up an interesting topic.” I briefed her on the inquisition Millie made regarding her personal life.

“Oh, Millie. No, Grandma does not have a man. Maybe you can help me find one,” joked Grandma.

“I know, maybe you can buy one!”

“Millie, you can’t buy a man!”

“You can buy a dog, though.”

“Not the same as a man.”

“Or a cat.”

“What about you Millie, do you have a man?”

“I’m not old ‘nough to have a man. Let’s just not talk about that anymore.”

And we didn’t. Not for a while, anyway. Until one day, Grandma started behaving rather strangely. We received a phone call from her asking us to drop off her spare key as she had locked herself out of her car – in the next town. Worse still, she had already locked herself out of the house that morning! The following day, she left our house after a visit and took my purse my mistake. We only found out 15 minutes later when she sneaked in the door to replace my purse and take her own.

Similar stories from her friends began rolling in, such as reports of her new racing driving style. Apparently, Grandma behind the wheel had become erratic to the point of almost missing a turnoff and compensating wildly with a hard ‘Randy’. This caused all ladies in the vehicle to hop over the curb to make their exit. She brushed it off despite a car full of white knuckles and bruised bottoms. Another friend complained that she had shared a bed with Grandma on their NYC trip only to open her eyes to a man in the bed! Or so she thought, before her blurry eyes realized it was a Facetime screen perched between them and Grandma chatting at all hours.

We were all quite concerned. How were we to explain her sudden decline of cognitive abilities? Millie knew, it’s just being in LOVE.

*Photo taken of us at a spa getting our nails prepped for Grandma’s wedding. We may or may not have had the giggles in their ‘Quiet Room’.