I am a Superhero

The ability to steal five minutes for pleasure, wedged between mundane tasks and squeezing out every morsel of enjoyment, I consider to be one of my greatest assets (weaknesses). Whether for evil or good, I contribute my compulsive hot tub dips to this trait. If I feel the slightest chill, I go in the tub. Even a hint of a sore neck, go in the tub. Chance of rain tomorrow? Seize the tub today, I say.

And so I did. I went into the tub to wick some tranquility into my soul when I was interrupted by a high pitched noise. “Is your mom in the hot tub?” I looked over to see two heads bouncing a few feet away. Millie and her friend were stealing five minutes on the trampoline.

“Yes.”

“Does she always go in the hot tub?”

Between bounces Millie shouted, “All the time! Every morning.” I disagreed adamantly in my mind, but my inner voice had already incriminated me with spooling thoughts of ‘Kids, I’ll be in the tub if you need me!’ I decided not to let it ruin my zen and sank a little deeper.

“Is your mom wearing a bikini?” (Really?)

I could see Millie scrunch her nose towards her eyebrows as she made a funny shape with her mouth, letting her teeth hang out. “What’s a bikini? Is it like the thing that covers your ass and…” (I’m going to have to talk to her about that word choice eventually, after the tub.)

“Yeah, it’s like underwear and a bra.” (Great.)

“It’s like she’s that superhero…” (Go on!…)

“Captain Underpants!” (Wow, just wow.)